Sick...

Just wait and see if i'm only a spoiled brat. I love him but love can't be force da ne? just wanna laff how many times i got in this feelings. unsure about it. when i woke up, i'll smell his scent, his cooking and hear his voice waking me up. I also feel warm spot on my cheeks. well i hope this is just a dream.

Wasurenai yo

At first, after we don't talk too much before you gone forever.... I was thinking of this..
I’m so sorry for
 what I did to you, did to us…
You’ve given me so much and
I haven’t been able to return
a single thing.

That’s why I want you to live
for yourself now.
Do what’s best for you, Jason.
Jason…


I think i'll gonna die... but... you're,,,, i was really giving up.. really.. but some peoples lighten my spirits up... I'll remember that.


I don't know why, how and when... i'll be living like this. 


Some how..... there's guy who come in my life... i don't know if he was really serious or just pity to me... 
he said to me like this


accept the fate. i'm here for you. listen honey, we can't live with past and it's shadows. we need to move on. it's time to move. forward is waiting. we need to face tomorrow and all ways forward.if you still keep live with this cocoon of pain and sorrow, you'll never be able to see any forward. i know you did try to forget him, but, you can't. it's okay. you shouldn't forget the great and amazing guy you've met. your love for him is strong. i can see it. to tell the truth, yes, i'm jealous of him even though he died. however, i need to accept that his existence in your life and memories is undeniable. he somewhat permanent past for you. i accepted it. just once and for all, i want you to open your heart for me, sean faith ramirez. accept me as you accepted him. give me your love. please accept me for who i am. please? accept me as sean faith ramirez...


Is this for real???

Today...

jason forget all about me...

Letter...

In my restless dreams,I see that town.
Silent Hill.
You promised me you’d take methere again someday.But you never did.
Well, I’m alone there now…
In our “special place”Waiting for you…
Waiting for you to
come to see me.

But you never do.

And so I wait, wrapped in my
cocoon of pain and loneliness.

I know I’ve done a terrible
thing to you. Something you’ll
never forgive me for.

I wish I could change
that, but I can’t.

I feel so pathetic and ugly
laying here, waiting for you…

Every day I stare up at the cracks
in the ceiling and all I can think
about is how unfair it all is…

The doctor came today.
He told me I could go
home for a short stay.

It’s not that I’m getting better.
It’s just that this may be
my last chance…

I think you know what I mean…

Even so, I’m glad to be coming
home. I’ve missed you terribly.

But I’m afraid Jason.
I’m afraid you don’t really
want me to come home.

Whenever you come see me,
I can tell how hard it is on you…

I don’t know if you
hate me or pity me…
Or maybe I just disgust you…

I’m sorry about that.

When I first learned that
I was going to die, I just
didn’t want to accept it.

I was so angry all the time and I
struck out at everyone I loved most.
Especially you, Jason.

That’s why I understand
if you do hate me.

But I want you to
know this, Jason.

I’ll always love you.

Even though our life together had
to end like this, I still wouldn’t
trade it for the world. We had
some wonderful years together.

Well this letter has gone on
too long so I’ll say goodbye.

I told the nurse to give
this to you after I’m gone.

That means that as you read
this, I’m already dead.

I can’t tell you to remember me,
but I can’t bear for you to
forget me.

These last few years since I
became ill…I’m so sorry for
what I did to you, did to us…

You’ve given me so much and
I haven’t been able to return
a single thing.

That’s why I want you to live
for yourself now.
Do what’s best for you, Jason.

Jason…

You made me happy

LOL...

I ate pizza to day and I'm full. ^o^ I got a present from my boyfriend! a beautiful  blue  necklace!! so happy!!
eh hehe he. Hohoho

Kimi...

Uwaahahaaha!!!! Finally I get your tabako!! (Dun worry I'm not smoking ok?) LOL Miss you so much... I have no idea right now! Nyahahaha!!!

tifa's day...

Well, I just finished my blog. . . Dunno what to say here. . . Hehehe. . .